SLR: What I Learned About Islam?

Background

Islam as a religion has existed nearly 1400 years, but only in recent decades its influence has reached a new height. The oil resources controlled by Islamic countries are great assets, which in their own ways steer the politics and economics of the whole world. Worldwide migration of people has formed Muslim minorities in traditional Christian countries, and also Christian minorities in traditional Islamic countries. Wars and famines are also causing great migrations, bringing cultures together for better and for worse.

I have not had extensive cooperation or dealings with Islamic culture, and I have not really had any Muslim friends. I have not dealt with the “folk Islam”, which is effectively guiding the behavior of majority of Muslims. I have not needed to. However, nowadays Finland has also a populous Muslim minority, who are being watched by the media and suspicious eyes of phlegmatic Finns. How should I face this new situation? What can I learn about Islam? It turned out that there are plenty I could learn and do.

Religious Essentials

I took a course named “Introduction to Islam”, and thought it to be interesting and contemporary. It provided a lot of information regarding the history, essentials, and many facets of Islam. Here I am listing few items which were new to me or otherwise made an impression on me:

• Qur’an is the holy book of Islam, and it is recited everywhere in Arabic, which is held as the divine language.
• By reciting Qur’an in Arabic, Muslims experience the connection with God
• There were no diacritical marks nor vowels in written Arabic Qur’an, allowing for some degree of ambiguity in interpretation
• Prophet Muhammad had a rich life, and was a capable leader who cared for the poor, the weak, and the needy
• The Arabic culture prior to Islam was full of scattered idol worship, and in general not held in high esteem
• Islam means submission, practically submission/obedience to God and His prophets
• Muslim denotes a person who submits and yields his life to God according to Islam
• Hadith denote the whole collection of the actions and sayings of Muhammad, which are to be followed precisely
• Sunna means the conducts of Muhammad as a man
• Together, the Qur’an, the Hadith, and the Sunna mark the detailed ways of life all Muslims are to follow
• The 5 pillars of Islam are the creed (shahada), prayers (salat), fasting (sawm), alms (zakat), and pilgrimage (hajj)
• Umma denotes the “Islamic community” as one single nation, similar as Christian concept of church as the body of Christ. In this definition, Islamic view of the world is simply divided into the House of Islam and the House of War, basically Muslims and non-Muslims
• The concept of Jihad and power of Islam are rooted to the very beginning of Islam, when wars were fought and won and the House of Islam was quickly expanded to become a world power
• Folk Islam is a concept which describes the beliefs and practices of majority of Muslims, which are not according to orthodox Islam, but which are the way these Muslims live out their religion. Fold Islam contains such things as e.g. superstition, amulets, talisman, the evil eye, and various spiritual things.

There are of course more to Islam than above list. For example, a big surprise for me was how Christians are seen by the Muslims.

Christianity in the Eyes of a Muslim

Just as I did not know about Folk Islam, the Muslims are seldom aware about liberal theology or so called nominal Christians. Most of Muslims think that Christian West really means that all the people in Christian countries are Christians. No wonder Muslims have really low appreciation for Christianity.

Another major tenet I did not know was that Qur’an speaks very positively about Jesus, and that Muslims hold Jesus in very high honor! Connected to this, the deity of Jesus is refuted by Islam, but this relates to their understanding about Christianity: Jesus had the message from God, but Christians replaced/corrupted it by changing the content to the “gospels” in New Testament. In the same line, the concept of Trinity of Christianity is idol worship, where three gods are worshipped: God the Father, Mary, and Jesus. Huge misunderstandings!

Another major issue seems to be the crucifixion of Jesus. I did not know that Qur’an actually talks about this: “but they killed him not, nor crucified him, but so it was made to appear to them, …, for a surety they killed him not – Nay, Allah raised him up unto Himself” (Sura 4:155-158). So, Islam has interpreted this text to mean that Jesus was NOT crucified at all, but a substitute was crucified, which Jews thought was Jesus. There are other theories also, but this is the majority view. Islam cannot understand, how God could give an innocent man like Jesus to be crucified on others behalf, it is against Islamic understanding of justice of God.

There seems to be many conflicts regarding who Jesus was, did He really die, and who is right about God: Islam or Christianity? At this point, I would like to consider, whether it is possible to find harmony between these two groups?

How to Live in Harmony?

When studying the course Introduction to Islam, at times I had difficulty to breathe: the tight grip of Islam on its adherents took my breath away. There are social, economic, and cultural implications for a Muslim to convert to another faith. The worldview built into Islam is totalistic and requires absolute submission, which the term Islam means. The division of House of Islam from House of War automatically puts non-Muslims into a secondary position, and any amount of oppression seems to be justified.

How does Christianity respond to this? All I can think of is Love. The Agape -love of God that Christians keep on talking about, it encompasses all people on earth, including Muslims. If there are wrongs done to them, Christians would love back, as Jesus taught in New Testament (Matthew 5:43-48). Of course, back in the history there has been plenty of violent responses from Christians to Muslims, but were those done in the spirit of God or in the spirit of man? There has been many a dark moment in human history, when men have erupted against other men and killed, tortured, wronged them, simply because they were somehow different.

Despite the history, I believe there can be harmony. The harmony of Love, which “keeps no record of wrong”, “always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres” (1^st Cor. 13:5, 7). Though it IS unfair, the Love of God is able to take all the beatings, humiliation, tortures, and offences. All this, because “I know that my redeemer lives, and that in the end he will stand on the earth” (Job 19:23). God will have his fair and just judgement, and by trusting Him in Jesus Christ, anyone can learn to Love.

Without Love, it is impossible to reach harmony, because hate and vengeance are never-ending cycles. Despite the possible absolute submission to Islamic teachings about what is orthodox, in the deep heart of every man and woman, adult and child, there is the need to be loved. So, regardless are you a Christian or a Muslim, I call you to surrender to the Love. It is not blind, it is not cheap, it does not change your circumstances nor history, but it will change you! The Love of God was demonstrated: “While we were still sinners, Christ died for us” (Romans 5:8). And through Jesus: “to all who did receive him, to those who believed in his name, he gave the right to become children of God” (John 1:12)!

How Do I Choose to Live?

Now in everyday life, how should this Love be seen? How it should affect my life? What I have come to understand is this:

1. Recognize my prejudices and repent about them
2. Pray and ask for Love from God
3. See Muslims first of all as men/women loved by God, and then as friends God has put into my life
4. Spend time together, do something fun, learn language, help with daily chores…
5. Share the Love of God via warmth, actions, and words.

There is always a risk of becoming hurt or deceived, if one chooses to Love. Then again, we are not called to love dumbly, but there are wise principles and safe limits that help us to Love consistently. To Love is not to forget rationale, but an attitude of life.

Conclusions

What has this blog text brought to your mind? Do you agree or do you object strongly? Your feedback is more than welcome! Our lives are always undergoing processes, because we are human, tied in time and given only each moment we live in. Fortunately God has put eternity in our hearts (Ecclesiastes 3:11), so it is not only a meaningless ride, but every moment really counts! Make your words and actions count, not towards worldly and passing things, but towards eternal and meaningful things.

“So whether you eat or drink or whatever you do, do it all for the glory of God.” (1^st Corinthians 10:31)

This Lady is 99 This Year!

Congratulations to dear Finland, who turned 99 this year, today. Of course Finnish history extends long before that, but this is to celebrate the founding of the Republic of Finland.

Finland is an unique country, just as unique as any country in this world, but some more. The last 100 years of Finnish history contains a huge leap from rural farming society to modern IT society. The Finnish people have changed from Sweidish speaking aristocrats and cursing farmers to "civilized" Westerners, ranking among the top nations in the world for literacy and higher education. Finnish economy has evolved from forestry and farming to high-tech and service industry. Finnish culture has changed from God-fearing and hard-working to God-less and individualistic. Family values have degenerated, but somethings have not changed: sarcasm, irony, over-consumption of alcohol, and unmovable determination a.k.a. sisu.

It is well known that Finnish people are not easy to befriend with, but it is also very true that Finnish friends prove to be very good friends, often friends for life! There are so many great things about Finland that the world has not discovered, but will these things stay the same if the world discovers them?

One interesting fact: when Finland faced Soviet Union in Winter war between 1939-1940, the president of Finland declared nationwide prayer for the country. And people prayed indeed. Many say that this fear of God was what saved Finland from losing the war, as it was really a miracle that such a small army could withstand the attack of Red Army for so long time. Nowadays the nation of Finland is far away from the atmosphere of prayer or fearing God, history is written by the conquerors, and modified as time passed...

Couple of literary pearls by Finnish author Väinö Linna:
The Unknown Soldier
Under the North Star trilogy

Happy Independence Day, Finland!

Google's way:

Self-Deception - Best Friend and Worst Enemy

The landscape of our hearts? Open peaks and hidden valleys.

Now I am arriving at a topic that has long been acutely interesting to me. The reason for this interest is due to the paradoxical and multi-layered nature of the issue.

Self-deception, as Wikipedia defines it, is "highly debated and occasionally argued to be an impossible phenomenon" (accessed 18th Nov. 2012). Through this difficulty, Wikipedia has chosen the definition for Self-deception as "a process of denying or rationalizing away the relevance, significance, or importance of opposing evidence and logical argument". I will provide another aspect to this.

First of all, the opposite of self-deception could be defined as "awakening". This is my proposal. The concept of awakening implies that the self-deceived is in a state of sleeping, or living in a dream world, away from the reality and truth.

Okey, Matrix or MIB kind of movies have done a good job of enlarging our perception regarding what is "true" and what is "The Matrix". However, our capability to conceive and handle these concepts is an ample proof of our ability to live in self-deception. According to one of Triver's theories, self-deception is a side-product of our ability to think abstractly (Wikipedia). However, debate still exists whether self-deception is an innate characteristic of human nature or it is a learned trait through experience to achieve certain goals (Wikipedia).

Here I propose another root cause analysis: the human nature in its original perfect state did not comprehend false or true, because all things were true and the environment was perfect, because God the Creator was perfect. Due to the choice to disobey God, in a seemingly positive desire to learn more (about good and evil), Adam and Eve broke out from perfection and entered into so-called "abstract thinking". This new state is called "the fallen state of mankind", and it can as well be described as "the state of sin".

Now, so much about the definitions and root cause analysis, I will give some applications of this item. Applications of real life implications, let us start with a well-known psychological concept, the Johari Window:

The implications here are obvious: both the Hidden Self and Unknown Self areas of ourselves are more than vulnerable to self-deception. Of course some can argue that the Unknown Self area lies more in the sub-consciousness, thus cannot be classified as deception - how can one conceal something if not even aware of it? But looking from an objective point of view, or frankly, from Divine point of view, the facts are there even though the person is not aware of it, and it is also self-deception since the person is not aware that he is not aware of it. Getting confused? Please don't, following examples could help to clarify.

Let's take a Western lady as an example, purely imaginary. Aged around 60, she has gone through a multitude of life situations. As a Christian, she has heard about all the Biblical truths there can be preached about.
PUBLIC SELF: she is fully aware of her way of talking to others, how people perceive her as a nice lady with a tender heart, which she certainly is and knows it herself.
PRIVATE SELF: she knows things about herself which others do not know, such as a tendency to dress properly according to situations, caused by the fear of being humiliated publicly. Or, that she is a huge fan of a young and handsome pop-singer but dares not to admit it.
HIDDEN SELF: she does not know this about herself, but everybody around her observes it clearly: she is obsessed with speaking in a "correct" manner, always stressing certain vocals or using certain expressions. She might not like herself doing it if she realized it.
UNKNOWN SELF: she might have some childhood dreams which she has already forgotten, but which still affects her desires and causes her to get excited at certain thoughts or ideas, e.g. traveling to a far country somehow attracts her but she has never stepped out from her home country. Another aspect is mostly cultural, she might not be as individualistic as younger generation, but she blindly believes in the goodness and truthfulness of public authorities and media.

Then let's take a Chinese young lady as an example, purely imaginary. Aged around 20, she just started university and is dating her childhood adoration, a popular young man in the neighboring university.
PUBLIC SELF: she is successful, attractive looking, good in her studies and a good girl at home. Everybody agrees about these.
PRIVATE SELF: she has some bad habits such as chatting online with unknown guys hoping to get some fun out of it. Also, she might really hate living with her parents but cannot show it publicly because it is held as inappropriate. She might dream about running away with her handsome boyfriend but definitely cannot say it aloud.
HIDDEN SELF: others see the proud side of her, a bit arrogant in dealing with other people and some issues. Still others see her tendency to be a spoiled princess, being selfish and self-centered. Usually nobody tells her these things, even her boyfriend, because he thinks it is cute, so far.
UNKNOWN SELF: she does not recognize the imbalance inside of her, due to the culture she is immersed in. For example she used all her attractiveness to entice her current boyfriend to leave his ex-gf, and she did not pity the other girl at all, because all these seem natural to her. She will also devout herself to love her bf totally, surrendering everything to him because he is so handsome and good etc. She does not know why she loves in this way, or is this even real love? In short, she does not recognize her behavioral patterns as right or wrong, but just follows them, as everybody else does.

All the examples above might not be orthodoxy according to Johari model, but they are my applications. As this text nears its end, I am finally approaching my claims and reasons.

If the road is clear, it will be good to travel.

All over the world, I have met people from different social classes, backgrounds, age groups, religions, and family conditions. I have seen many positive traits in many people, but I have also observed many negative characteristics of many people. One of the most painful traits/characters that I have seen/experienced is Self-deception.

Self-deception is so subtle that it tarries with us long time, deceiving us, drags us from true freedom and happiness. Self-deception is not caused by others but rather by ourselves (of course the spiritual adversary and the surrounding world have their parts to play). Self-deception is the single most destructive force in individual lives, preventing us to see ourselves as we really are, putting us on a misty mountain road that is full of pits and falls. Self-deception is the single most dangerous enemy we are facing in ourselves. And we are not facing it.

Ignoring to know myself is to ignore my true self, negligence has a price to pay, if not now then eventually. How, then, can I detect self-deception and overcome the pitfalls and destructive effects it brings to my life? The answer is simple but multifaceted: Jesus. Jesus is the only man who has NOT been tangled in self-deception, and He has meant us to learn from Him, to imitate Him, to follow Him. As the perfect man and perfect God, His divinity does not take away His "accomplishments" as a man, thus here are some clues for us to challenge ourselves, to fight against self-deception：

• Acknowledge that you are vulnerable to be self-deceived
• Have motivation to become "awakened"
• Check your life, objectively compare to Jesus, and see what will you notice in yourself that you have missed earlier
• Be honest with God, and you will hear His honest words to you
• This activity requires the Holy Spirit of God - without Him this will lead to desperation and further deception
• Become teachable, find trustworthy friends/pastors/teachers/mentors to help you
• Let them tell you the truth, they are very helpful especially in the HIDDEN SELF area
• Let them instruct you according to the Bible, "work out your salvation with fear and trembling" (Paul's letter to Philippians, 2:12-13)
• "To work out what God had worked in", live in a way that manifests the saving work God has done in you. (p.42, Roger, 2004, Opening Up Philippians)
•  Find out about cultural issues that hold you back from truth
• Such as behavioral patterns, thought patterns, wrong value system, or missing links of truth
• Remember, it will be a process, but a rich and profitable process! Oh, and it takes the rest of your life time. :)
• You forsake self-deception to gain spiritual and personal growth
• You forsake falsehood to gain truth，and the truth will enable you to be free from bondage and lies
• You might loose a couple of seemingly good friends, just to gain more real good friends
• You might loose some fun, but you will gain everlasting joy and happiness

Self-deception is your best friend, when you want to embrace yourself with self-pity and indulge yourself with temporary relief of pain.
Self-deception is your worst enemy, when you want to be true to yourself and everyone around you. It is also your worst enemy on your road to personal growth, blocking your way to spiritual maturity.
Self-deception is your worst enemy if you want to fully enjoy life and have some everlasting impact in this world.

Only by knowing myself better can I better surrender myself to God.

Culture Shock - Now I Got It

Some layers of society:
pure and dirty,
rich and poor,
beauty and ugliness,
God and human,
wrong and right,
injustice and righteousness,
faith and foolishness.

Hah, finally.

Culture shock struck me, kinda of. Recently, after returning from the happy relaxing holiday period, there has been more challenges in everyday life compared to previous period. Challenges have related to dealing with rules and ways of handling things by various entities of this society, human relationship challenges at workplace near me or facing me, experiencing the frustration of common local people towards several areas of life, and all these magnified by increasing tiredness due to workload / flight delays / spontaneous extra responsibilities.

The result is multifold:
- Aggravated spirit inside me towards some on-going issues
- Lack of patience or love to deal with these issues
- Lack of prayerful mind to ask help from above
- Turning to human wisdom and abilities
- Twisted view on things and even people, reflected in less polite or gentle behavior
- Finally, sighs under "heavy burden" and realizing, this is what some people have warned me about. At the same time, sighs expressing frustration and the inability to make a difference.

"You are my strength when I am weak, You are the treasure that I seek, You are my all in all."

Tired, bombarded, kind of wasted, I felt the urge to pour out my heart into this blog posting. Then, something happened. I saw that recently this blog post has been frequently visited:
SLR: An Application of Agape Principles in Chinese Culture
Amazed, this was the exact teaching I needed today! It has biblical basis, correct emphasis, and exact tools for me to deal with people around me, starting myself. The objective truth and subjective truth, the genuineness spiced with empathy, and the warm embrace of grace - all speak of the mighty God I have.

Culture shock or not, I know again where should I be heading to in those issues, practicing what  I know to be right, and draw close to the source of my joy and my strength. Thank you God for your wonderful work, your presence, your care, and your divine guidance.

 "As for me, I know that my Redeemer lives, and at the last He will take His stand on the earth."
- Job 19:25

At the last He will take His stand on the earth. smiley

Recent developments

It was hard to come up with a title for this blog post, so I apologize for the mundane title it now has. However, hopefully the pictures in this post compensates for your interest.

Life has indeed progressed most rapidly in recent months, so rapidly that I have not had time. Yes, not had time. This is of course a concept worth to be reviewed with more details, I mean the concept of "not had time". Here it acts just as an open excuse for the negligence this blog has experienced in recent months.

May went by with travels, grandma's funerals, busy working weeks, and relatives visiting us.

June went by with some travels, some busy working weeks, some visiting relatives and related bureaucracy, some self studying, and some preparatory works for small group studies.

July went by with seeing off wife and baby, intensive self studies, frequent hospital visits (non-serious nature), emergency business travel, and traveling to the other home country on earth.

The past 2 weeks has been busy with meeting friends and family, traveling, camping, re-capturing our previous life, and partially meditating on our future life. Still ahead is the last part of this holiday trip and then returning to the current home country and the everyday life there.

I am good at giving long lists of what I have done, here comes a short list of what I have found out or pondered about:
- Life in China is very hectic, too hectic. We need to do something about our life there to get things rolling smoothier.
- Life in Finland is very nice, but we do not belong here no more, at this phase.
- There are tremendous opportunities for "doing good" in China.
- There are marvelous friends in our lives, which we will treasure and appreciate.
- Loving parents and family are gifts from God.
- The Creation is so beautiful, after spending 6 months in BJ, the appreciation of pure nature grew tremendously!
- Positive attitude and a clear purpose help to sustain us, all based on the goodness and immanence of God.
- I have learned to use more superlative words to express myself. Perhaps I have now had more superlative emotions? :)

Coming and going, now we are kind of used to it. People meet us and ask when we will leave. It does not feel bad, rather very encouraging: the short moments spent together are much appreciated, and we all know that our family does not belong here, for now. Knowing where we are and why we are, it is very assuring. God is a God of assurance. He does not leave anything uncertain.

Soli Deo Gloria!

Paul's first letter to Timothy, Chapter 1, verse 9: He has saved us and called us to a holy life—not because of anything we have done but because of his own purpose and grace. 

Paul's letter to Philippian church, Chapter 3, verses 13 and 14: Brothers and sisters, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus. 

The letter to Hebrews, Chapter 3, verse 1: Therefore, holy brothers and sisters, who share in the heavenly calling, fix your thoughts on Jesus, whom we acknowledge as our apostle and high priest.

Scenery (notice the magnificent clouds)

Picnic in the park, with dear friends

Picnic / swim in the beach, with dear friends, and wonderful weather

The tasty table at a birthday party. Wonderful makers of the cakes and snacks. :)

Earth and sky

Awe struck. "How great, how awesome art Thou!"

A Little Bit of This and That

Somehow the inspiration to write occurs often during the silence of the night. After the busy goings of the day is over, and all rational people are sound asleep, I felt the urge to write.

Our past month has gone by like the wind: quickly and in a clean manner. I do not know if our life has become too simple, or just that we are still in transition. Perhaps all that and even more.

The picture at right side is an ancient sun watch, perhaps invented in China, I don't remember. It reminds me about the uniqueness of time: though ancient, it is still valid; though immeasurable, still measured; though in the past, still in the future; though equally possessed by everyone, still weighing completely different for different people.

I'm sure about it, now: we are in transition. To settle into this new life currently means that we still have questions unanswered, things pending, processes ongoing, and sights unseen. The biggest question currently is: what should we do here? In such a vast city there are all kinds of people, huge opportunities and possibilities, huge needs and at the same time many resources available. I feel like a small detail in the midst of this buzzing society. Perhaps this is the reality I've been exposed to? Is it actually a win or a loss when I forget this feeling and get the answer I want?

All in all, I'm certain that this period of time will pass. We will figure out more about God's plan for us, and we will be busy going about the "official" business. In the mean while, we are learning to pitch our tents for His glory in everyday life. Day by day, the fragrance of Christ will spread from us to our colleagues, neighbors, friends, relatives... That is our prayer.

Life tastes good. Growth takes place also during silent periods. I learn, if I just mind to learn. God speaks, if I just mind to listen. Simple, isn't it? :)

The State of Leaving

"Breaking up is hard to do", says good old song. We are not breaking up, just moving, internationally. We have been living a time of changes, saying goodbyes, packing, unpacking, looking through our stuff and choosing which we want and which to be thrown away. It isn't easy, and we already hope that this period of time will be over.

Yes, it will be over. Every day is closer to the final move, and the transition is always only transition.

Leaving a place is all about inventory, whether be it material or mental garage of life. The moments of joy and sorrow, familiar buildings and surroundings, precious friends, wonderful family (also church family!), everyday meals, nominal routines... Let them be, let them be. Life will continue without us, everything will move on.

We won't, the life of now stays in our minds as a still picture, which we will treasure and zoom in to look at whenever missing home. We will enter another sphere, new rhythm and melody, our life will join the millions of other people in the busy metropolis of China.

What do we take with us? The still picture of current life, the pain of transition, and the excitement of new life.
What do we leave behind us? The possibilities we did not live out, the Finnish childhood Viivi will not have, the events in friends' and family's lives we will miss, and the steady life that would have continued.

Regrets? Life does not give opportunity to regret. There is no if, there is no but. Life goes on, the state of leaving is part of it, and we live through it.

During these times, the words of Paul comforts me:
I eagerly expect and hope that I will in no way be ashamed, but will have sufficient courage so that now as always Christ will be exalted in my body, whether by life or by death. For to me, to live is Christ and to die is gain. (Paul's Letter to Philippians 1:20-21)

Let it be a transition that exalts Christ, let it be a change that glorifies Jesus. To live is Christ, He does not change.

Living by faith includes leaving by faith. No matter where we are, we long for a better country - a heavenly one. Therefor God is not ashamed to be called their God, for he has prepared a city for them. (Hebrews 11:16)

In that heavenly country, we will rejoice forever. No need to transit, no need to leave.

Ja "hyvästi" -sanaa ei tunnetakaan. ("Viimeiset veneet", Lasse Heikkilä)

Another Entry

It so happened that I had the opportunity to contribute to the blog of FIDA International, which is the missions and development aid organization of Finnish Pentecostal churches. For those of you who understand Finnish, feel free to check my post:
Pieni ihminen suuressa maailmassa

If you read it using Google translator, please don't trust it to get the meanings correctly. :)

FIDA's site in English, if you are interested to take a peek:
FIDA International

SLR - An Application of Agape Principles in Chinese Culture

Introduction

SLR stands for Service Learning Requirement, which is part of my studies done for each Global University course. This blog entry is my way to fulfill the service learning requirement of the course Human Relationships. Please help me to develop my thought by giving comments/feedback! You can use the comment -field below or send me mail. The feedback could include: What did you like best about the student's presentation? How could the student improve in the way he or she participated? What other words of encouragement do you have for the student? Please indicate your relationship to the student (also your name if you want).

Background for Agape

Agape is the Greek word for love, but not just any kind of love. When studying the Greek language used in the first century and in the New Testament of the Bible, it is found that there existed four different words to describe the word love we use in English. The word philia was usually used to describe the loving relationship between friends; the word storge was usually used to describe familia love between parents and their children, also siblings; the word eros was used to describe sexual and sensual love, emphasizing on sexual passion; the word Agape was used to describe the love that “seeks nothing but another's highest good”. In Christian faith Agape is used to describe the love of God toward the mankind: self-sacrificing, actively seeking response, long-suffering, and everlasting.

The greatest demonstration of Agape was the incarnation, life, death, and resurrection of Jesus Christ. Why? Incarnation, because God Himself loved people so much that He was willing to become one in order to bring people to Him, this showed the humility and activeness of Agape. Life, because Jesus lived a life full of Agape towards everyone who was in need, healing people, forgiving sins, breaking bondages, and glorifying God the Father. Death, because He died to accomplish Agape, death being the purpose of His incarnation and life, the price to be paid for the lack of Agape in all humankind. Resurrection, because He can then continue to love the mankind actively, with victory from death and over the devil. In addition to those mentioned, the second coming of Jesus in the end of the world will demonstrate that “in eternity, Agape is fully realized, faith and hope will have done their work”.

One Challenge for Agape in Chinese Context

Now as a Christian, how does the Agape of God affect my life? The course Human Relations has helpfully described the role Agape should play in recognizing myself, growing into maturity, and handling human relationships. In the text below, I aim to examine one practical area in Chinese culture that acutely needs Agape. I am fully aware that I will someday be facing below mentioned situations, thus I want to be prepared and know what to do when that day comes. Preparation really helps implementation!

In Chinese culture, one major fact about human relationships is guanxi, the basic dynamic in personalized networks of influence (reference can be found in Wikipedia). In a successful human relationship one must know what to expect from the other and what the other person is expecting from you. In China, simple trust between people just does not exist, especially nowadays when moral shift in Chinese society is ongoing and shame is not anymore the prevalent motivation for actions or no actions. For example, there are many stories in the news where people have killed/robbed their family members to gain money or other valuables, not even talking about misbehaviors in sexual areas that have permeated whole society. Without further politicizing the situation, I claim that democracy is of no help. The wicked human nature, when no morals or conscience is holding back, is easily destroying Chinese society.

If I am living in China and a friend/relative comes to see me from far away, I need to politely welcome him and receive him into my home (possibly for an extended period of time). I would not have riches or valuable at home anyways, but can I trust that this friend/relative will not try to misuse my hospitality and possibly mistreat my wife and child(ren)? This lack of trust is even more serious if I know that this friend/relative has had unworthy tendencies in the past, or that he is involved in bad company or addicted to gambling. When thinking about this kind of situations, every cell in me becomes defensive and I am tempted to start planning other options for his stay. In addition, I would not be able to treat him with heartfelt warmth and sincere welcome. Lack of trust can always be sensed and detected. As a Christian, what should I do in the situation?

Agape as The Answer

First, I need to articulate to myself the goals I want to achieve when encountering this friend/relative. As a Christian, I really want to relate to him, help him in whatever way I can, and ultimately help him to experience the love of God and surrender to Him. I do not want to just create a good guanxi and later on perhaps enjoy his counter-service. In fact, I do not even want to think that way, because it pollutes my motives. I want to be sincerely interested in him, helping him to succeed in every aspect of his life, and then rejoice with him when looking back in time. Then, how can I successfully keep a pure motive and reach my goals, still acknowledging the risks and dangers involved?

I find the answer to be the Agape -love of God! Taking Jesus as my role model: incarnation: if I move to China, my main motivation should be Agape towards people and not to enjoy myself; life: I should not be living for myself, but be ready to sacrifice and meet the needs of the needy; death: this aspect speaks to me the severity of sacrifices, if Jesus gave His all and my everything is from Him, should not I also be ready to give my everything to His cause? The resurrection and second coming of Jesus assures me of the ultimate reward I will get: to hear Him say “Well done, good and faithful servant!” (Matthew 25:23, NIV).

Assuming the premises given in the above paragraph, are there any practical tools that can help me to deal with the friend/relative? Fortunately the answer is yes. First of all, to exercise Agape requires commitment and truth. The concept truth here comprehends both objective and subjective truth. I am committed and have found objective truth about this relationship (the worst cases it could present itself), I have also analyzed myself and my motives to find subjective truth about my intentions. This part is clear, but certainly needs re-evaluation every now and then, especially when a described situation approaches.

The next step, then, is to apply Agape principles in this relationship. First of all, genuineness toward the other person forms the basis for mutual trust. I should be able to open myself to him, honestly telling him my thoughts and opinions, even my fears about his situation (in a culturally sensitive way). With genuineness I want to be empathetic to his weaknesses and difficulties, really interested in him and expressing my compassion to him. In addition to those, the third basic attitude I should have is a warm embrace of grace, which indicates that I accept him as he is, really holding him as my friend/relative, and not a bad guy to be feared. With these basic attitudes I believe God can work in him and help him to open up and trust me, increasing mutual understanding and appreciation.

During the formation of a closer relationship, and even after that, I should absolutely follow certain principles that define Agape -love. One such principle could be not giving him money but actually get involved in his life and pay his bills when necessary. Money, gifts, service and counter service are all great dangers to the Agape relationships in China, simply because the society is corrupted by misbehaviors in these areas. Without clear principles I would not be able to treat people equally. Though it might sound easy, I am still in process of defining suitable principles and limits for those areas. These issues must be clarified before a possible move to China, because these issues come up immediately when stepping out from airplane. One good principle could be: love without questioning, but no need to be foolish. :)

Besides principles, I need effective communication to really reach my friend/relative. Though I know the culture and understand many of the connotations in speech and communication, it is not self-evident that I can communicate my message clearly and politely to others. Actually, even communicating in same culture and with similar background, we all need to practice effective communication everyday! Effective listening will open up a totally new world for a person not used to it, direct messaging will help to clarify messages and avoid misunderstanding, and conflict resolution is a skill everyone needs either in family, church, or workplace. My goals for effective communication would be to politely and accurately express my thoughts, with sensitivity to the circumstances, and in a congruent way. May God help me in this process.

Summary

After all is said and written, I must confess that the basic challenge remains: how to live a life fulfilled with Agape -love towards myself and others. This is something we all can practice anywhere, anytime, and with everyone. There will certainly be mistakes and failures along the way, but I am positively labeling the whole process as growth. Holy Spirit works in us by giving us wisdom, patience, understanding, faith, hope, and Agape -love. For God, all things are possible. If I manage to deal with even one friend/relative in China according to Agape principles, I am certain that there will be fruits. If he learns these things and continues to deal with people in his life in the similar way and so on, soon the society is changed. God has empowered us to love others as He loves us, let us rely on Him and not elude from His good purposes in our lives. Great opportunities and adventures, success stories and growth are available to all of us, everyday.

Philippians 3:14 I press on to reach the end of the race and receive the heavenly prize for which God, through Christ Jesus, is calling us. (NLT)

Ps. Now the comments and feedback, thank you! :)

Long-suffering

In our cell group gathering last Sunday, the topic was smth like: how to be/do good in the world that has gone bad? It was a wide topic but we concentrated on few issues only. Mainly, how do we handle the not-so-nice things and situations that happen to us? To ignore it and withdraw, or to face it? If to face it, how to do it in a way that is suitable for the occasion?

The discussion lead me to think about my own behavior. I do not have patience as I used to have, I am currently lacking the humility I used to possess, I find myself lacking in this field of love: long-suffering. Maybe it's because I used to "be better" in this area that I notice the change and difference. The next question is then: what changed? Why I changed?

It has not been a deliberate process, that's for sure. As I look back to the time I used to be better with long-suffering, I was more simple, more sincere towards God, spent more time in prayer, spent more time with the Bible, spent less time with work/studies, in general was more "easy" with life.

Another aspect of this change, I have become more "hard" towards things and people. This is related to my previous post about pride: Growth and Pride. Now I'm still in the process of working on this one, and sometimes it feels that things are just getting worse: I get more feedback about talking in a "hard" manner, speaking harsh words without pity. I myself also notice sometimes how I handle people and things in a harsh way. What should I do?

Analyzing the situations and the behavior, I have one intermediate conclusion: it's easy to withdraw, but one really needs wisdom and long-suffering to face the issues and ppl in a good manner. Part of me wants to withdraw from all these situations - I'm not good enough to handle them. But I know this is a lesson I need to learn, so I want to continue to fight. Withdrawing means also not to take responsibility for other people or other things - as a Christian, I am called to take responsibility to care for other people and care for this world.

If you have some wise advice for me, let me know. One thing I want to do: spend more quality time with God in reading His love letters to me (the Bible) and in prayer. In addition I want to take good care of my family, do my job well, and keep up the relationships with relatives and friends. My current voluntary responsibilities in church will also continue, actually only two and half months to go. I want to trade my wasted time to the quality time with God, and I want to start this already before moving to Keuruu in August. :)

As mentioned also in the previous post, I'm gonna rest. I'm also gonna talk less and be in no hurry. God doesn't utter useless words, and God is never in a hurry. :)