If I ... can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, but ...

It's amazing how can one be so blind. Talking about myself, my blindness struck me right at my face very recently.

The Bible place summarizes it so well:
If I speak in the tongues of men or of angels, but do not have love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but do not have love, I am nothing. If I give all I possess to the poor and give over my body to hardship that I may boast, but do not have love, I gain nothing.
- Paul from Tarsus, Letter to the Corinthian church, 1st century. Chapter 13, verses 1-3.

The blindness meant in my case, that I thought I was a loving person. Not necessarily easily lovable, but at least loving. I concentrated on things and issues, instead of love. I pushed for matters and changes, instead of more love. I aimed for perfection and to glorify God, but missed love.

Well, waking up, thanks to a friend and Holy Spirit, I now see what I've been missing: love. I can't say I've been very loving. For what love is? The same Bible place continues from above:
Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails.
- Chapter 13, verses 4-8.

The standard of Love is devices by God Himself. It doesn't work if I try to put my name in the places of "love" in above passage. Only the name "Jesus" fits, only He is able. However, as a Christian, a follower of Jesus, I am called to aim for it. I've been promised Holy Spirit to help me, mold me, change me. Now I see, now I want, I'm willing. And He can.

I thank God for this wake up call, perhaps I can start a new era in this field in my life. Hopefully.

Comforting:
For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith — and this is not from yourselves, it is the gift of God - not by works, so that no one can boast.
- Letter of Paul to the church in Ephesus, 1st century, The Bible.