Viimeiset veneet - part 2

It's again been a long while since last blog entry. No excuses here. Again there has been several topics popping into my mind, but not yet becoming "materialized" into blog text.

As I've started this series about my favorite song, I'll continue where I left last time. Now the second stanza of the song:
2. Viilenee hiukan jo hyväily tuulen, joutsenet oikovat siipiään.
|: Kanteleen soittajan uupuvan kuulen, sirkatkin riisuvat pois kenkiään. :|

A quick English translation: The tender touch of the wind has become cooler, swans are already stretching their wings. I can hear the zither player becoming sleepy, even the crickets are taking off their shoes.

This part basically continues to draw the image of the wonderful nature God has created. In the evening, when the busy goings of the day is calming down, one can almost hear and feel the exhaustion of the well lived day time. It is good to know, that we are meant also to rest, not only work and run as robots. The tender breath of the evening wind, the natural actions of the creation preparing for the night, the admission that I am tired, all leads to the peaceful moment, where I can just lie down and close my eyes in solitude. Yet, I am not alone, God is with me through His creation. His faithfulness is the reason I can entrust myself totally to Him. I don't need to worry about the night and its horrors, or whether I will wake up in the morning at all; I need not to worry about what tomorrow will bring, or what illness or pain I will need to bear; all is in His hands, mighty and loving hands.

Yesterday with my Chinese cell group, we read from the Bible the place where Jesus spoke about God dressing the flowers of the field and feeding the birds of heaven: Book of Matthew, chapter 6, and verses 24 to 34. This place spoke to us, despite it being very familiar and often read. The freshness of Jesus' words speaks to us everyday, because we have the tendency to worry, to control, to want to know. In the group we discussed about what it means to worry, what it means to not worry, and where is the balance. We concluded that to worry helps us to act out, not to worry tend to keep us ignorant of things that need to be done or issues need to be prepared for; then again, worry also often takes away the bliss of living a fully trustful life toward Jesus, the ability to live simply. Then, not worrying about life also might mean that we neglect the responsibilities we have and live as fools.

All in all, the balance is here: to live our lives fully at each moment, doing our best in what we are supposed to do, and leave the rest to God. To seek His kingdom is not something spiritual only, but certainly includes to work and provide for the family, to keep fit, to care for family and friends, to be the shoulder for the mourning ones, to be the ladder for the learning ones, to be the support to the weak, and be the companion to the joyful. To seek God's kingdom is to live fully His words and life in everyday life.

The verse 2 of Viimeiset veneet comes down to life, to everyday life, the little moments that may appear vain but actually is all that matters - it is only those little moments that we have. Every choice matters, every decision counts; every action of heavenly nobility is precious, and every moment is evenly valuable. Rest and solitude is certainly part of the plan that God has for us, I hope I can learn the lesson to keep and enjoy those moments.

Viimeiset veneet - part 1

For those of you who don't understand Finnish, that is, the language of Finland (not the people ;), I will translate the topic of this entry: Viimeiset veneet = The Last Boats. This is the name of one of my favorite songs, and it tells about life in a way that touches my heart and awakes my longing toward the heavenly home.

Yesterday evening I was humming this song by myself after a long while and the idea came to blog about it. As the song has 5 verses altogether, I think each verse is worth an entry, thus here comes the first one.

Before going into details, as an intro, the composer of the music Lasse Heikkilä has also written the lyrics, and the song was introduced in a "Finnish Mass" (suomalainen messu), kind of church service of songs. Later I hope to link some introductory page for you who don't know the piece. The music of the song is nice and very Finnish, though it is more the lyrics that has touched me the most.

The first verse goes like this:
1. Viimeiset veneet kun palaavat rantaan, illaksi kääntynyt päivä on.
|: Piirretään vielä hei sydämet santaan, valvotaan vierellä nuotion. :|
Rough translation to English:
When the last boats have returned ashore, the day has turned to eve.
|: Hey, let's draw hearts into the sand, let's stay up around the camp-fire. :|

This verse always brings into memory my first Summer outreach to Russia. It was year 2000 and at the end of Summer, I joined a small group and went to Saint Petersburg area to stay a week or two in a children's Summer camp. There we spent time with the kids and their group leaders. I didn't know any Russian, I knew only one person in the outreach team beforehand, and I had just finished my High School and moving into a new city (Tampere).

The outreach went well, I got a spark to learn Russian, and continued with these outreaches for the following few Summers. During the last night of the trip we went out to the forest by the river with the local group leaders and some kids. We had a camp-fire, roasted bread and potatoes (I think so), played guitar and listened to Russian camp-fire songs... It was a memorable evening. Later in our own evening prayer time we listened to this song, The Last Boats. The camp-fire in Russia and the songs, the dusk of forest, the sunset, the smell of local life, the peace and quietness... I have come to miss those moments, I have come to treasure those moments.

How great it would be if we can always stay up late, always "draw hearts into the sand", always have the company of friends around a camp-fire and just be. No need necessarily to talk anything, no need to pretend, no need to play guessing game around life. Just the presence of friends, solitude, camp-fire, timelessness. Hear the sounds of water hitting the shore, occasional breath of wind, dancing of the trees and their shadows, dancing of the tongues of fire around the wood, stars above, tree roots below, a sense of unworthiness at the vast splendor of the creation.

These feelings are what the song brings to me when I'm sitting in our living room sofa with guitar in my lap and eyes closed. Once again I experience the nature, the solitude, the reality of life outside of the small box of my daily routines.

This was the first verse, and there are more to come. Gratitude arises alongside the texts I'm typing into this entry, thank God for gifted people who honor Him with their talents and heart. Thank you Lasse.

Wonders of Chinglish

Today we had a good chance to reflect on the wonders of Chinese English. Here are some gems:

- If you no three no four, I'll give you some colour see see!!

- Horse horse tiger tiger

- Good good study, day day up!

- Five talks four beauties

Heh, I guess these are just common ones that you can find from the web as well. Maybe I'll post some text later about the depth and vividness of Chinese language and culture. :)

Success and pain

Simply by looking at the title, one should expect this to become a painful entry. Why? I guess nobody tends to assume successful entries in blogs, ever. Right? :)

It is a hard task to define success, and sometimes also very hard to define pain. If someone is enjoying success, it might not feel like anything extraordinary, and one still asks: what is success? If someone is experiencing pain, it might not feel that bad, thus asking: why people are afraid of pain?

I've had the poll open asking the question about which one would you chose, success or pain, if success is just keeping you in ok-level relationship with God, whereas the pain would really put you into His embrace. It's not a fair question, necessarily, as good Kathryn has pointed out. However the question arose from a moment of pain, and it is certainly valid in many people's lives.

I'll explore the conditions first: it has become clear to me that the saying "no pain no gain" is very much true, in many areas of life. If my life is successful in its simplest meaning: no disasters, nice work, nice home, nice everything, I can say that I am not in pain. Often in this case I feel that my life is ok, I have plenty of meaningful things to do and I am leading a purposeful life. However, the time seems to be rushing by, I work and achieve, but don't really feel that I am living. It feels just like fulfilling my responsibilities and counting the days that are passing by.

On the other hand, whenever I become sick (physically) or troubled over some human relationships or family issues, or I stand (or sit) face-to-face with someone who is experiencing or has experienced the darkest sides of human life; or when I read a true story of such dark experiences, I feel pain and compassion. Or, I want to feel pain and compassion. At those moments, those flashing moments, I feel that I am living. I can stop and ponder life, seek guidance, feel pain, shed tears, curl up in Daddy's embrace... At those moments I realize that only God matters, only the invisible matters, the visible world will be gone, and there will be a future with no pain, no tears, no hunger, no cold, no heat, no war, no sorrows ...

But it is of course wrong to purposely seek pain, because that's not our "calling". Rather, the challenge seems to be, how to live in such a way that success will not block my sight to the Source of Life? How can I stay true to my God and the invisible reality, while fully committing to the responsibilities and duties of visible? Also, too much theoretical pondering does not take anyone anywhere, so how is the balance of theory and practice? How can I help others to reach balance and really live out my own talk?

I guess there is no definite answers, but I believe, I trust, that there is a Golden Way, a clear target about how we humans are supposed to lead our lives. This Golden Way contains not only theoretical guidance but also practical instructions; it is comprehensive in covering all areas of life and conduct; it would be such a mirror to our soul that the truth about us will be revealed; it would also be clear enough for us to see, at the same time the perfection we can never reach. Jesus has shown us the way, He wants us to walk through the pain and the success with the same attitude and character He has. He doesn't expect anything less from us, at the same time He fully accepts us and our failures.

Coming back to the moment of pain that ignited the thoughts. I want to experience pain, boldly, bluntly, but humbly. At the same time I strive for success, because it is good and God-given. If I'm not in pain, I want to be ready to part-take in other people's pain. I believe this is also the "calling" of every Christian in this world. If we are experiencing success, we should live with the people who are in pain and through their sufferings experience the embrace of God. This automatically include charity, help, compassion, time, resources. And when taking into consideration that the success is often a "relative" concept, we who are living in the Western world are abundantly successful just by being here. It's no small blessing, and we will be accountable for how we use the blessings we've received.

To finish this long posting with perhaps "deep" thoughts, I'd like to quote two very well know sayings:
- Knowledge adds pain
- Ignorance is a bliss
The first one can be found in the Bible, the second one is not found in the Bible. Correct me if I'm wrong.

--> Conclusion to the matter: each of us human beings has been blessed with much, at least the Love of God. We should seek balance in our lives, regarding success and pain, attitude and ways of life. In all areas of life and all issues, the most important would be to "be faithful to God, practice justice, and stay humble".

Success or pain

Without further elaboration, please respond to the poll on the right side. And put your explanation / idea / question in the comments...
Ops, one clarification: If success (all around) only keeps you near God, but ..

Niin eli jos haluat vastailla oikealla puolella olevaan kyselyyn, niin voit sitten laittaa kommenttina mitä kaikkia mietteitä sulla olisi asiasta... Kysely suomeksi:
Oletus: olet Kristitty (uskova). Jos menestys (kaikenlainen) pitää sinut pelkästään lähellä Jumalaa, mutta kipu (kaikenlainen) pitää sinut Jumalan sylissä, kumpaa valitsisit?

Relentless

I don't know how normal it is, to be relentless.

Actually I had to look up the word in the dictionary, and it didn't really correspond to my original understanding of the word. The dictionary says:implacable, inflexible, inexorable, or sustained, unremitting... In another word, a relentless person is a hard person to deal with.

Ok, another word, restless.

I've used this other word to describe myself, but not recently. However, it is an apt description of me anyhow. I've been a bit restless, nothing visible, but deep down inside.

The story goes back to the time we returned from China trip, that was 5th of August, c. 2 weeks ago. At that time I was really really tired, I've spent 3.5 weeks in China, in the heat and traveling, talking, discussing, caring, leading, guiding, preparing... The whole time, almost the whole time, I didn't slow down or really had peaceful / quiet time of my own. From my earlier experience, I know this combination of heat, busyness, and constant change is going to hurt, at some point.

Well it hit home when I got home. In a way I was really relieved to return to Finland, to the peace and quietness, to have some time of my own, so I could read Bible, draw close to God and come back to terms with myself and Him and the world. But it wasn't that easy. Despite the seemingly quietness, peacefulness, nothing happens by itself. I haven't been able to really reach the equilibrium I've wanted, not that I know what kind of state I want to reach, but that I know I'm not in a state I want to be.

This shift or displacement has begun way earlier in the Spring time already. Barely visible or noticeable, it strikes in little by little, until it is revealed and observed. I basically woke up to this already earlier, but didn't have any time to do anything about it. Absurd. Then last Tuesday in the prayer meeting at chrch, a young guy testified about his experience, that he had lead a life of faith, seeking to serve and seeking the guidance of God. But recently he came to understand, or God had revealed to him, that he had forgotten to seek God Himself, but rather seeking only the outer things: place to serve, future, friends, acceptance of men. Nothing wrong itself, but really, when man loses the point, it doesn't help no matter what good things man tries to achieve.

Now I've found the problem, actually it's been in my mind for a while already: I am too busy. I have been successful in many ways, which has lead to doing a lot of good things, but forgetting or actually distancing myself from the most important: my beloved Father, my Lord and Saviour, my Counselor and Constant Helper. Without the relationship, whatever I have or do don't have any meaning.

So, I want to get back to the basics, the relationship with God, with Jesus. Not only know how to lead a godly life, but really getting into the source of that godly life.

Easier said than done, but fortunately it's not about me, but all about Him. Lord have mercy, Lord will have mercy. Amen.

It's all about You, Jesus
And all this is for You,
For Your glory and Your fame
It's not about me, as if You should do things my way
You alone are God and I surrender
To Your Ways.

Addictions of life, going unnoticed

It's been unforgivably long time since my last post, and actually I still have a half post in the draft -folder, but this short (?) post is triggered by the fact that I'll be out from country for a month, thus wouldn't be able to blog for a while.

Recently the work has been too busy. For some years I've been busy during weekends and then could go to work to take a rest (figuratively), but now I haven't been able to rest at work... This is no excuse, maybe I have too much going on?

Talking about addictions, I really think everyone is addicted to something. At least the life style one has, the regularity of everyday life, is very addictive. We are just not used to use this word to describe it, rather words like "routine" or "schedule". These are somethings we seldom notice, but only after years of similarity we wake up at some moment and look back, holding our breath, and amazed at the "routines" or life patterns we've had. These are not necessarily evil or bad, just that we tend to miss the moments and just go on with life. That would be sad.

There are of course other kind of addictions that are really called addictions. I've been playing facebook poker fo some weeks now, sometimes more, sometimes less. It's a harmless, well, seeminly harmless way to explore my own addictive nature. And yes, I have an addictive nature. In my life I've been addicted few times: some computer games, some sports, but thank God I've stayed sober in most areas of my life. It's not because I'm good, but just that I've been "lucky", or in this case enjoyed God's grace.

Anyhow, with poker it is really interesting to notice the thoughts going through my head when playing a hand, with good hand and with not-so-good hand. When losing, the tendency to want to get it back. When winning, the tendency to want more. When nothing happening, the tendency to go all-in. This helps me to understand those who are addicted, but I really learned that it's easy to go cracy at the poker table! Despite the reasoning, despite the help of other people, once I "sit" at the table, the adrenaline of gambling rises to its heights. Without a big win it's impossible to leave the table satisfied, and this kind of addiction is the reason for broken families and broken lives...

Personally I'm an easy-to-get-addicted type, maybe all men are? That's not an excuse. However, because I have a lot of things to do, I have friends and people around me, I'm not allowed to just stay home and play games/poker. In addition, the most important is, I know what is right and wrong, with absolute standards. This knowledge helps me eventually to overcome the addictions, and going "cold-turkey" doesn't even feel that bad.

All in all, addictions are serious stuff, easy to get and hard to give up. Fortunately Jesus himself faced addictions of religious people, sinful people, constant wrongs of sinful nation, and still prevailed. Jesus is forgiving, helping, calling, and embracing every human being who wants to come to Him. It's an astonishing truth that changes lives, changed mine, and can change yours.

First step is to come to the truth, and Jesus is the truth. Then I could go on to explain whole story of repentance, forgiveness, renewal and sanctification, but I'm running out of time here. :) The bottom line is, addictions of life easily ground us to the muddy earth and block the view of heaven. One can be happy only when gazing upon the countenance of the true God, sitting in His lap and twiddling at His court. This is what we are called to, eagles rising above the earthlies and soaring on the winds of Love. Never become a chicken in life, but spread the wings like an eagle! (Pertti's sermon few week's back) Those who wait upon the Lord.

Yeah, off to China now, soaring with Finnair this time. :) God is good, always. And where the Spirit of God is, there is heaven present. I wish to remember this and live according to this truth. I wish same to you my reader. God speed.

Hail the Caesar!

Well, Veni Vidi Vici, here I come.

Today I finally became the Emperor of China, after many hours of battles, training, economy development, human relationships, recruiting of troops and generals, conquering city after city and building barracks and crossing rivers, I've done it!

Maybe you already understand that I've been playing computer games, heh. To be exact, I played one game, named The History of Three Kingdoms (literal translation), which has its roots in the famous Chinese book The Three Kingdoms. Anyhow, the game was rather addictive at beginning, full of challenge. Towards the end it lost its glory, mainly due to me being so superior to the computer adversaries (perhaps also because I chose the basic level of AI to play with). Many hours wasted, but historical and some geographical knowledge gained.

Above all, cultural adherence to Chinese university students have been gained.. I heard that this was / is the most popular game that Chinese uni students play, mostly male uni students. Someone can comment if this is not correct. Now I can say that I understand better the "inner world" of those young people addicted to this kind of strategic computer games. Helps me in counselling sessions.. ? :P

Anyhow, addiction, it is a huge topic and I'll go on to discuss it in the next post entry, in due time. It's good to talk about it, my experiences and explore the nature of it and the ways to overcome it. Such is life.

Btw. I'm rather happy Finnish national hockey team didn't get too far in this year's world championships, otherwise I would've spent many more hours watching their game and reading their stories... :)

Spring grey, where is the Life?

Here is the latest post from my prev blog, the same mood caused the move and the creation of this new blog. Hmm.

Must say, I'm a bit down today. Don't know if it's the grey sky or the drippling wet, or if it is because the dream I saw last night or the silence in the office room, I'm kinda slow today, down, not really motivated.

Someone might say that it's simply the low blood sugar levels, eat something and it should be fine. Others might claim that the grey sky and wet weather really causes one to slump. Some spiritual friend would say that the devil is at work, and that I should just step up and take a grip and get to the work... Good guesses, and I don't know.

One thing I am sure, devil does want me (just as anyone else) to slow down, to get depressed, to be unmotivated, to feel tired and slow. But in practise, what can one do? I started to listen to music, it does cheer me up a bit. I should rest more and better, that certainly helps. I should go out and enjoy the fresh air, that is yet to be done. I should eat something to raise my blood sugar, that would be nice.

At the end, this is just a day. The unfortunate thing is, the tasks for today will move to tomorrow, the information that need to be shared will be shared one day later, the questions that need to be asked will be delayed by one day. Where does the day go? Does it matter?

Theory and practise, honesty and negligence, feelings and spirit, hunger and satisfaction. Vanity of vanities, I dare say. Human life has so much vanities. I am blessed with food and clothes, steady income, wife, warm home, family, friends, relatives, job, health, skills, talents... Everything that many many people could only dream of. Still, I sit here unmotivated, slow to work, slumppy and down. What's wrong with us humans?!?! Wasting resources and time seems to be our only goal; vanity of vanities! Talking and enjoying seems to be our only mission; vanity of vanities! Success and happiness seems to be our only remedy; vanity of vanities! Give me cruelty and I'll appreciate tenderness; give me suffering and I'll appreciate mere hunger; give me cripples legs and I'll appreciate the world around me; give me unemployment and I'll appreciate steady income; give me tears and I'll appreciate serenity. Oh God, why am I as I am?

Vanity of vanities... Hate, feelings, anger, punishment; sense of inability, lostness, dullness, indifference; pity, sadness, pride, self-pity; words, mere words, vain words, stupid words... When it all comes to the end, corpses, bones, bacteria, mud. Ah, vanity of vanities

Fortunately I know the Lord, I know of the golden city that's awaiting, I know of the kingdom that is above the skies, I konw of the love, peace, solemnity, serenity, joy, care, justice, righteousness, tenderness, unending feeling of fulfillment... It's wonderful! It's awesome, it's unbelievable, unimaginable, yet real, experienced, and waiting ahead. I am glad, I am humbled, I am satisfied, I am nurtured. God of wonders, who crafted the universe and me, thank you. Words are not enough to express, tears will only carry the message: this man wants to be in Your arms. Gone be the grey skies, gone be the wet Spring weather, technical work, hunger and sufferings, miscellaneous happenings. Let there be light, let there be hope, let there be Life, let there be celebration.

Hallelyyjah! Thank you Jesus for what you have done, for the death and resurrection, for the loving and solemn look in your eyes, for the tender and just words "well done, you faithful servant". I want to be with you, and hear those words. I want the Life, and you are the giver of it.

Looking Back

Hmm, finally I've moved over to here. Here is the blog post I posted 3 years ago when I started:


3 years has gone by, and I have posted c. 30-40 posts. It has been a joy to read those posts afterward, and really, it's good to perceive the growth, or change. :)

May this blog be alive and serve its purpose. God is good.
ps. for older posts: http://levi4you.multiply.com