Spring grey, where is the Life?

Here is the latest post from my prev blog, the same mood caused the move and the creation of this new blog. Hmm.

Must say, I'm a bit down today. Don't know if it's the grey sky or the drippling wet, or if it is because the dream I saw last night or the silence in the office room, I'm kinda slow today, down, not really motivated.

Someone might say that it's simply the low blood sugar levels, eat something and it should be fine. Others might claim that the grey sky and wet weather really causes one to slump. Some spiritual friend would say that the devil is at work, and that I should just step up and take a grip and get to the work... Good guesses, and I don't know.

One thing I am sure, devil does want me (just as anyone else) to slow down, to get depressed, to be unmotivated, to feel tired and slow. But in practise, what can one do? I started to listen to music, it does cheer me up a bit. I should rest more and better, that certainly helps. I should go out and enjoy the fresh air, that is yet to be done. I should eat something to raise my blood sugar, that would be nice.

At the end, this is just a day. The unfortunate thing is, the tasks for today will move to tomorrow, the information that need to be shared will be shared one day later, the questions that need to be asked will be delayed by one day. Where does the day go? Does it matter?

Theory and practise, honesty and negligence, feelings and spirit, hunger and satisfaction. Vanity of vanities, I dare say. Human life has so much vanities. I am blessed with food and clothes, steady income, wife, warm home, family, friends, relatives, job, health, skills, talents... Everything that many many people could only dream of. Still, I sit here unmotivated, slow to work, slumppy and down. What's wrong with us humans?!?! Wasting resources and time seems to be our only goal; vanity of vanities! Talking and enjoying seems to be our only mission; vanity of vanities! Success and happiness seems to be our only remedy; vanity of vanities! Give me cruelty and I'll appreciate tenderness; give me suffering and I'll appreciate mere hunger; give me cripples legs and I'll appreciate the world around me; give me unemployment and I'll appreciate steady income; give me tears and I'll appreciate serenity. Oh God, why am I as I am?

Vanity of vanities... Hate, feelings, anger, punishment; sense of inability, lostness, dullness, indifference; pity, sadness, pride, self-pity; words, mere words, vain words, stupid words... When it all comes to the end, corpses, bones, bacteria, mud. Ah, vanity of vanities

Fortunately I know the Lord, I know of the golden city that's awaiting, I know of the kingdom that is above the skies, I konw of the love, peace, solemnity, serenity, joy, care, justice, righteousness, tenderness, unending feeling of fulfillment... It's wonderful! It's awesome, it's unbelievable, unimaginable, yet real, experienced, and waiting ahead. I am glad, I am humbled, I am satisfied, I am nurtured. God of wonders, who crafted the universe and me, thank you. Words are not enough to express, tears will only carry the message: this man wants to be in Your arms. Gone be the grey skies, gone be the wet Spring weather, technical work, hunger and sufferings, miscellaneous happenings. Let there be light, let there be hope, let there be Life, let there be celebration.

Hallelyyjah! Thank you Jesus for what you have done, for the death and resurrection, for the loving and solemn look in your eyes, for the tender and just words "well done, you faithful servant". I want to be with you, and hear those words. I want the Life, and you are the giver of it.

Looking Back

Hmm, finally I've moved over to here. Here is the blog post I posted 3 years ago when I started:


3 years has gone by, and I have posted c. 30-40 posts. It has been a joy to read those posts afterward, and really, it's good to perceive the growth, or change. :)

May this blog be alive and serve its purpose. God is good.
ps. for older posts: http://levi4you.multiply.com