In a Time When Nobody Cares

It certainly has been a while since the last article here. Frankly, I do not feel sorry about it. Or perhaps a little.

Writing is a very therapeutic art, cleansing the inner self by organizing thoughts and emotions into sequels of words. Writing during the deep night is even more therapeutic: one sees oneself reflected in writing, quietly, silently, humming away the words which are never heard during the busy moments of daytime.

Nobody cares. This can be a subtle statement about current society. This can also be the tune played in the deep night of the soul. This might simply express the cynical view about life. This might be a weighty accusation towards everyone around. This is me.

Realizing how I change, it is both bewildering and commonplace. People tend to change, it's just that nobody cares. Usually people notice the change in themselves only when major incidents happen, and they react to them in a way that totally surprises themselves. And it is usually not in the manner one would like it to be. well, nobody cares.

Not being cynical or sarcastic, I have simply come to realize: nobody cares. This mantra so well suits the society I current dwell in, possibly addressing its biggest wound at the same time as pointing to the unfortunate indulgence of human nature. People, we, have been marred by sin, which causes us to be self-centered and twisting the truth, deceiving ourselves into ignorance. No wonder "ignorance is a bliss", it truly is.

On a bit more positive note: in a time when nobody cares, the cold cold society creates an immense desire in people to find warmth, feel cared for, and share the coldness of Winter of their souls. Sharing creates warmth, caring creates hope, courage creates faith. Failures create pain, and failures cause cynicism. What a sad sad time.

Holding on to the most precious source of life, love, joy, happiness, hope, faith, courage, and power, I feel obliged to care. Despite the lack of responses, despite my own ups and downs, the road I know to be worthy, I must continue to travel. Let there be more and more joining me on this road, more hearts touched by this life, more justice done in this place, more hope spread in this time. I believe, and I live. Soli Deo Gloria!

Book of Revelation, Chapter 2, verses 1-7:
 “To the angel of the church in Ephesus write:
  These are the words of him who holds the seven stars in his right hand and walks among the seven golden lampstands. I know your deeds, your hard work and your perseverance. I know that you cannot tolerate wicked people, that you have tested those who claim to be apostles but are not, and have found them false. You have persevered and have endured hardships for my name, and have not grown weary.
  Yet I hold this against you: You have forsaken the love you had at first. Consider how far you have fallen! Repent and do the things you did at first. If you do not repent, I will come to you and remove your lampstand from its place. But you have this in your favor: You hate the practices of the Nicolaitans, which I also hate.
  Whoever has ears, let them hear what the Spirit says to the churches. To the one who is victorious, I will give the right to eat from the tree of life, which is in the paradise of God.

The New International Version. (2011). (Re 2:1–7). Grand Rapids, MI: Zondervan.

Chapters Turning

It is interesting, almost a year passed by without a single blog post!

Beauty of Creation

It might seem that my thoughts have drained and feelings have vanquished, or simply my internet connection has disappeared. Well, none of these are true, it just has been some new chapters in life.

We humans are mentally limited, at least I am. So when I have too much work to do, or there are other issues in life that require my attention, my small mind becomes fully occupied and enjoying the euphoria of being needed. Then, the blogging is the last thing that even comes to my mind.

Talking about life, this year has been very different than previous, including many happy events such as the birth of our second girl in March, long trip/stay in Finland in May-June, and various moments of various feelings. All summed together, we have clearly settled down over here and found meaningful things to do. Alongside this, the challenge has been shifting the attention from "what to do" towards "how to do", trying to keep the good things going and avoid wrong things, as well as to learn new skills and keep the mind open for voices from above and opportunities ahead.

Let's see how long it takes before next post arrives...

Self-Deception - Best Friend and Worst Enemy

The landscape of our hearts? Open peaks and hidden valleys.

Now I am arriving at a topic that has long been acutely interesting to me. The reason for this interest is due to the paradoxical and multi-layered nature of the issue.

Self-deception, as Wikipedia defines it, is "highly debated and occasionally argued to be an impossible phenomenon" (accessed 18th Nov. 2012). Through this difficulty, Wikipedia has chosen the definition for Self-deception as "a process of denying or rationalizing away the relevance, significance, or importance of opposing evidence and logical argument". I will provide another aspect to this.

First of all, the opposite of self-deception could be defined as "awakening". This is my proposal. The concept of awakening implies that the self-deceived is in a state of sleeping, or living in a dream world, away from the reality and truth.

Okey, Matrix or MIB kind of movies have done a good job of enlarging our perception regarding what is "true" and what is "The Matrix". However, our capability to conceive and handle these concepts is an ample proof of our ability to live in self-deception. According to one of Triver's theories, self-deception is a side-product of our ability to think abstractly (Wikipedia). However, debate still exists whether self-deception is an innate characteristic of human nature or it is a learned trait through experience to achieve certain goals (Wikipedia).

Here I propose another root cause analysis: the human nature in its original perfect state did not comprehend false or true, because all things were true and the environment was perfect, because God the Creator was perfect. Due to the choice to disobey God, in a seemingly positive desire to learn more (about good and evil), Adam and Eve broke out from perfection and entered into so-called "abstract thinking". This new state is called "the fallen state of mankind", and it can as well be described as "the state of sin".

Now, so much about the definitions and root cause analysis, I will give some applications of this item. Applications of real life implications, let us start with a well-known psychological concept, the Johari Window:

The implications here are obvious: both the Hidden Self and Unknown Self areas of ourselves are more than vulnerable to self-deception. Of course some can argue that the Unknown Self area lies more in the sub-consciousness, thus cannot be classified as deception - how can one conceal something if not even aware of it? But looking from an objective point of view, or frankly, from Divine point of view, the facts are there even though the person is not aware of it, and it is also self-deception since the person is not aware that he is not aware of it. Getting confused? Please don't, following examples could help to clarify.

Let's take a Western lady as an example, purely imaginary. Aged around 60, she has gone through a multitude of life situations. As a Christian, she has heard about all the Biblical truths there can be preached about.
PUBLIC SELF: she is fully aware of her way of talking to others, how people perceive her as a nice lady with a tender heart, which she certainly is and knows it herself.
PRIVATE SELF: she knows things about herself which others do not know, such as a tendency to dress properly according to situations, caused by the fear of being humiliated publicly. Or, that she is a huge fan of a young and handsome pop-singer but dares not to admit it.
HIDDEN SELF: she does not know this about herself, but everybody around her observes it clearly: she is obsessed with speaking in a "correct" manner, always stressing certain vocals or using certain expressions. She might not like herself doing it if she realized it.
UNKNOWN SELF: she might have some childhood dreams which she has already forgotten, but which still affects her desires and causes her to get excited at certain thoughts or ideas, e.g. traveling to a far country somehow attracts her but she has never stepped out from her home country. Another aspect is mostly cultural, she might not be as individualistic as younger generation, but she blindly believes in the goodness and truthfulness of public authorities and media.

Then let's take a Chinese young lady as an example, purely imaginary. Aged around 20, she just started university and is dating her childhood adoration, a popular young man in the neighboring university.
PUBLIC SELF: she is successful, attractive looking, good in her studies and a good girl at home. Everybody agrees about these.
PRIVATE SELF: she has some bad habits such as chatting online with unknown guys hoping to get some fun out of it. Also, she might really hate living with her parents but cannot show it publicly because it is held as inappropriate. She might dream about running away with her handsome boyfriend but definitely cannot say it aloud.
HIDDEN SELF: others see the proud side of her, a bit arrogant in dealing with other people and some issues. Still others see her tendency to be a spoiled princess, being selfish and self-centered. Usually nobody tells her these things, even her boyfriend, because he thinks it is cute, so far.
UNKNOWN SELF: she does not recognize the imbalance inside of her, due to the culture she is immersed in. For example she used all her attractiveness to entice her current boyfriend to leave his ex-gf, and she did not pity the other girl at all, because all these seem natural to her. She will also devout herself to love her bf totally, surrendering everything to him because he is so handsome and good etc. She does not know why she loves in this way, or is this even real love? In short, she does not recognize her behavioral patterns as right or wrong, but just follows them, as everybody else does.

All the examples above might not be orthodoxy according to Johari model, but they are my applications. As this text nears its end, I am finally approaching my claims and reasons.

If the road is clear, it will be good to travel.

All over the world, I have met people from different social classes, backgrounds, age groups, religions, and family conditions. I have seen many positive traits in many people, but I have also observed many negative characteristics of many people. One of the most painful traits/characters that I have seen/experienced is Self-deception.

Self-deception is so subtle that it tarries with us long time, deceiving us, drags us from true freedom and happiness. Self-deception is not caused by others but rather by ourselves (of course the spiritual adversary and the surrounding world have their parts to play). Self-deception is the single most destructive force in individual lives, preventing us to see ourselves as we really are, putting us on a misty mountain road that is full of pits and falls. Self-deception is the single most dangerous enemy we are facing in ourselves. And we are not facing it.

Ignoring to know myself is to ignore my true self, negligence has a price to pay, if not now then eventually. How, then, can I detect self-deception and overcome the pitfalls and destructive effects it brings to my life? The answer is simple but multifaceted: Jesus. Jesus is the only man who has NOT been tangled in self-deception, and He has meant us to learn from Him, to imitate Him, to follow Him. As the perfect man and perfect God, His divinity does not take away His "accomplishments" as a man, thus here are some clues for us to challenge ourselves, to fight against self-deception：

• Acknowledge that you are vulnerable to be self-deceived
• Have motivation to become "awakened"
• Check your life, objectively compare to Jesus, and see what will you notice in yourself that you have missed earlier
• Be honest with God, and you will hear His honest words to you
• This activity requires the Holy Spirit of God - without Him this will lead to desperation and further deception
• Become teachable, find trustworthy friends/pastors/teachers/mentors to help you
• Let them tell you the truth, they are very helpful especially in the HIDDEN SELF area
• Let them instruct you according to the Bible, "work out your salvation with fear and trembling" (Paul's letter to Philippians, 2:12-13)
• "To work out what God had worked in", live in a way that manifests the saving work God has done in you. (p.42, Roger, 2004, Opening Up Philippians)
•  Find out about cultural issues that hold you back from truth
• Such as behavioral patterns, thought patterns, wrong value system, or missing links of truth
• Remember, it will be a process, but a rich and profitable process! Oh, and it takes the rest of your life time. :)
• You forsake self-deception to gain spiritual and personal growth
• You forsake falsehood to gain truth，and the truth will enable you to be free from bondage and lies
• You might loose a couple of seemingly good friends, just to gain more real good friends
• You might loose some fun, but you will gain everlasting joy and happiness

Self-deception is your best friend, when you want to embrace yourself with self-pity and indulge yourself with temporary relief of pain.
Self-deception is your worst enemy, when you want to be true to yourself and everyone around you. It is also your worst enemy on your road to personal growth, blocking your way to spiritual maturity.
Self-deception is your worst enemy if you want to fully enjoy life and have some everlasting impact in this world.

Only by knowing myself better can I better surrender myself to God.